Što je realno Self-love?

🇭🇷 Cijeli tekst na hrvatskom jeziku nalazi se u nastavku, a engleski prijevod čeka vas na dnu stranice.

🇬🇧 The complete Croatian text is below; the English translation awaits you at the bottom of the page.

Što je realno Self-love?

Između modernog mita i istine tijela — slušanje umjesto gledanja

U dobu nove, komercijalne mitologije, moderna skripta uvjerava nas da je self-love proizvod koji možemo kupiti — topla kupka, skupa kava, estetski savršena maska za lice ili vikend bijeg od stvarnosti. Život postaje svojevrsni board game u kojem skupljamo trenutke ugode kao bodove.

Poput antičkog Narcisa, vodilja postaje zaljubljivanje u prvi dojam vlastitog odraza na površini vode. Učimo kako izgledati sretno, kako pozirati, kako izgraditi besprijekornu vanjsku konstrukciju. Gledamo se — ali se ne čujemo.

No, što kada taj površinski odraz pukne — ili ga počne razbijati susret? Susret sa sobom, s drugim osobama ili s argentinskim tangom.

Tada se razotkriva krhkost identiteta izgrađenog na slici ne-postajanja. U susretu s vlastitim i drugim tijelom, u nepredvidivosti odnosa i ritma, vanjska konstrukcija puca — i više nije dovoljna.

Tijelo ne komunicira kroz estetiku ni kroz unaprijed zadanu skriptu slike — bez boje, u ravnim linijama, bez sinkopa živoga. Ono govori istinom: kroz napetost, nesigurnost, dah, težinu i prisutnost. Jedan korak. Jedna stepenica.

U tom prostoru više ne možemo “izgledati” dobro. Možemo samo biti u kontaktu — ili ne. I upravo tu počinje stvarni self-love: ne kao slika koju održavamo, nego kao sposobnost da slušamo ono što se u nama zaista događa — i u našoj okolini.

Unutarnje i vanjske kontaktne površine: Gdje slika postaje dodir

Stvarni self-love ne počinje u zrcalu, već u kontaktu — na i kroz naše kontaktne površine, u prostoru gdje se kretanje i bivanje susreću sa stvarnošću sadašnjeg trenutka.

To su mjesta na kojima naše tijelo susreće fiziku stvarnosti i bivanje, a zablude i nemir se stišavaju.

• Naša prva kontaktna površina je oslonac — dodir stopala i poda. Kada pažnju spustimo u taj kontakt, um prestaje skakati. Pod ne reagira na našu sliku o sebi; on nas drži, uzemljuje i vraća u neposrednu prisutnost.

• Naša druga kontaktna površina je proprioceptivni osjet — odnos noge uz nogu, duboka percepcija mišića, tkiva i fascija u mirovanju i kretanju. To je mikroarhitektura tijela koja pulsira ispod kože. Kada uđemo u taj unutarnji prostor, pokret više ne kontroliramo vizualno; doživljavamo ga kroz vlastitu gustoću. Tu se iluzije savršenstva razgrađuju, a pojavljuju se prisutnost i prihvaćanje suživota bivanja.

• Treća kontaktna površina je ona koju dijelimo s drugom osobom – prostor dodira. Kada se dvije pulsirajuće površine susretnu, vizualni oklop nestaje. Ako nismo prisutni na svojoj unutarnjoj površini, dodir ne postoji — on je slika bez okvira. No, kada osjetimo svoje tijelo točno tamo gdje se nalazi u trenutku sada, zajednička površina postaje medij suosjećajne sinkronizacije.

„Tango počinje ondje gdje prestaje kontrola i započinje slušanje — sebe i drugoga. Tamo tijelo više ne traži oblik, nego osjet — i napokon postajemo.” - Jelena Somogyi

🇬🇧What Is Real Self-Love?

Between Modern Myth and the Truth of the Body — Listening Instead of Looking

In the era of a new, commercial mythology, the modern script convinces us that self-love is a product we can buy—a warm bath, an expensive coffee, an aesthetically perfect face mask, or a weekend escape from reality. Life becomes a kind of board game in which we collect moments of pleasure like points.

Like the ancient Narcissus, our guiding force becomes a fascination with the first impression of our own reflection on the surface of the water. We learn how to look happy, how to pose, how to build a flawless external construction. We look at ourselves—but we do not hear ourselves.

But what happens when that surface reflection cracks—or begins to be shattered by an encounter? An encounter with ourselves, with others, or with Argentine tango.

That is when the fragility of an identity built on the image of non-becoming is revealed. In the encounter with our own body and another’s, in the unpredictability of relationship and rhythm, the external construction cracks—and is no longer enough.

The body does not communicate through aesthetics or through a prewritten script of an image—colorless, linear, stripped of the syncopations of the living. It speaks truth: through tension, uncertainty, breath, weight, and presence. One step. One stair.

In that space, we can no longer “look” good. We can only be in contact—or not. And this is where real self-love begins: not as an image we maintain, but as the capacity to listen to what is truly happening within us—and in our surroundings.

👣 Internal and External Contact Surfaces: Where Image Becomes Touch

Real self-love does not begin in the mirror, but in contact—on and through our contact surfaces, in the space where movement and being meet the reality of the present moment.

These are the places where the body meets the physics of reality and existence, and where delusion and restlessness begin to quiet.

• Our first contact surface is support—the meeting of the foot and the floor. When we drop our attention into that contact, the mind stops jumping. The floor does not respond to our self-image; it simply holds us, grounds us, and returns us to immediate presence.

• Our second contact surface is proprioception—the relationship of leg to leg, the deep sensing of muscles, tissues, and fascia in stillness and in motion. This is the micro-architecture of the body, pulsating beneath the skin. When we enter this internal space, we no longer control movement visually; we experience it through our own density. Here, illusions of perfection dissolve, and presence and the acceptance of being begin to emerge.

• The third contact surface is the one we share with another—the space of touch. When two pulsating surfaces meet, the visual armor dissolves. If we are not present within our own internal surface, touch does not exist—it becomes an image without a frame. But when we feel our body exactly where it is, in the present moment, the shared surface becomes a medium of compassionate synchronization.

“Tango begins where control ends and listening begins—to oneself and to the other. There, the body no longer seeks form, but sensation—and we finally become.” - Jelena Somogyi

Jelena Somogyi

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